Oh well, waited way too long to post something. I needed to put an order to my life, I needed to make things clear. They still aren't, but at least I accepted it.
After few months spent in Parma "waiting" for something happening in my life, going through interviews (and taking my driver license), after another ended story where once again I was the "third one" (I might start thinking that I'm really like a magnet to this kind of guys!), I moved to Milan working for a big international company. I loved the name, I loved the environment, I hated my job. I felt underestimated, I felt unworthy. I might seem "arrogant" but I'm not, I know what I'm worth and won't accept a job where I only do administrative things and don't use my brain! I can't do it, I'm not a machine. I have a brain and it happens that it works pretty damn well. So I kept interviewing and now I've got an offer from P&G in Italy. I'm moving to Rome. I'm excited.
But yesterday – oh yesterday and today, damn days! – after I officially left my job, I found myself, another time, AGAIN, leaving behind a part of my life, going to the next one, me, ALONE, with my suitcase, on a train, looking for god knows what next…I love my spirit and I hate my instability at the same time. In moments like that his words come back to my mind and I know I lost him because of that instability. And he was the only thing I would have stable myself for. I'm so stupid, I'm so young and ingenuous, but for him I would have changed.
I've seen Fabio and Davide from Mizzou between yesterday and today and I'm damn nostalgic…a lot! I wanna go back, if I could chose among any place of the world I would be there, I would be there living with my best friend Stephanie, I would study and use my brain like I like it, I would live in the best place where I'd been in my entire life…the best environment, the best people…and him. For the next year my wish to the whole world is to be happy, at least once in their lifetime, as happy as I have been when life made sense and I was in Columbia. I really wish for humanity to feel like that, it's worth a lifetime of wars, work and change. The happiness and lightness of mind that I had in Missouri…is something I wouldn't trade for the whole world, it was just the best, the best.
Today when I was in this bar with Davide this song came along

Moon River, wider than a mile,
I'm crossing you in style some day.
Oh, dremaer maker, you heart breaker,
wherever you're going I'm going your way.
Two drifters off to see the world.
There's such a lot of world to see.
We're after the same rainbow's end--
waiting 'round the bend,
my huckleberry friend,
Moon River and me

It broke my heart. It broke my heart everything that Davide said, seeing his happiness, envying him while being extremely happy and proud of him. Man, life is strange! What's round the corner is a mystery to discover, and adventure to live. I'm ready for the next corner!
Doing marketing for P&G will probably be in small my American dream realized. I'm happy. Genuinely happy. Even if it will be my third job in few month, I have the feeling that this time for the first time a new door is really opening.
I feel nostalgic for the one that has closed, I'm having a real hard time really closing it. When I need to cry, to laugh, when I'm lonely, I still dial 001. When I think of someone, that person is usually there. I'm not done with the US, I have the need to keep thinking that one day I'll be back. God knows what I'll find there…I hope something close to that happiness that once filled my hear and now fills my memories…
We're after the same rainbow's end, will we ever find each other again? I'm probably just running behind a ghost...